FUN but REAL: Declaration after antivandal button test

I’m vandal but I’m sensitive. I feel really offended by the recent initiative of authorities to deploy devices that are explicitly directed against me, antivandal devices, to publicly accessible places like offices, lifts, business centres. Why?
Why aren’t they anti-fascist, anticommunist? Those are worse after all – they hurt people.

I support technical development, give people jobs. And thanks to my hobby I don’t spend time hanging out in pubs or in front of PC. Devices won’t come to me. Ok, maybe bus.

I’m vandal but not lout. It’s true that I notice even glass. But only when it poses a security risk – when someone is in danger of overlooking it and can hit it. Otherwise, I only do what I know – buttons, switches, circuit breakers.
And I don’t even use swear words and vulgar expressions. Only exceptionally when I don’t do well.

Like recently. I got so angry.
I was in a new shopping centre and I spotted an ATM in the corner. It seemed like I did not wake up in the morning for nothing. But antivandal was already looking from the distance. Why? Why nobody likes me?
Well ok, today, all ATMs are antivandal. But I’m not the first or the only one. Even my grandpa was vandal. He was the first who broke one loudspeaker in our village. I’m so proud of him – it was in height of 7m.

My ATM had this:
At first sight I can see that it is, as we call it, 18 (mounting hole 18mm). I caress it with my fingertips. Great – no nickel-plated zinc alloy but genuine stainless steel. But what for? It’s not raining here.
Is it because of me? Because I can accidentally spill about 1.2 litres from my mineral water bottle right on the button panel?
I’m pushing – everything works. I could think of it - IP68.
I am strong enough, I even start to be nervous so I push really hard and hard and once again and ... NOTHING.
So I try to use a match. It usually works but this is so precisely tight that there is no place to stick it.

So I took a deep breath and then even a deeper breathing out. I pulled the spray from my pocket and sprayed it all over. Just to let them know they should not provoke decent people.

P.S. If my vandal colleagues are reading it, this is what I found at home:  1301-9560

Please, look at it and try to think of something. Technological development cannot stand on one point.

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